Caution: Stupid People Ahead

Want to see stupid people?  Visit Yellowstone.  They come in all shapes and sizes, and you won’t even need to bring binoculars to view their natural behavior.  Odds are that you will have one or two stumble in front of your vehicle on the highway. Forget the signs about wildlife on the roadway — that’s a given.  We need signs warning about clueless people wandering into lanes of traffic.

Here are my top 3 Stupid People Experiences at Yellowstone.

1)  Is it Hot? While wandering around the geyser basins, boiling hot water is everywhere.  This should be a given based on the steam, increased air temperature, and all of the signs specifically stating that the water is dangerously hot.  Apparently, this was not enough to convince one particular stupid person that the water really was hot.  The Hawaiian shirt wearing man got down on his knees, and reached over the edge of the boardwalk to place his fingers in the boiling water.  Ironically, this was about a foot away from a sign warning of scalding water.  Guess what?  It really was hot! Do blisters count as a souvenir?

2) Bison + Japanese Tourist We watched as a Japanese tourist approached a Bison that was lounging in a small meadow.  The tourist held his point and shoot camera at arms length to make sure he could get the closest shot possible of this bison bull.  We watched as the tourist edged closer and closer.  When he was within 20 feet of the 2000 lbs bull bison, the animal stood up.  The tourist didn’t seem to understand the “get out of my face” body language.   With lighting-like reflexes, the bison lowered it’s head, and began to charge the tourist.  The pursuit lasted about 30 feet, and ended with the tourist tripping over his own feet, and falling on his face.  As soon as the tourist went down, the bison stopped its pursuit.  He got back up, and retreated to his car.

I can’t blame this one on the language barrier.  Every restroom, campground, ranger station, trailhead, and even the mark map shows a cartoon of a bison goring a tourist.  What did you think was going to happen?

3) Quick! Everyone around the Elk!

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